The first time I tried a drug of any kind was in sixth form. Two other degenerates and I huddled in an unused garage behind our college, where one of them whipped out a small bag of skunk that he'd procured from some roadman on his way to college that morning.

I believed, with close to near certainty, that common sense would prevail when the British public made their way to the polling stations on May the 7th. This is, after all, a nation of people who pride themselves on having common sense. The same country whose wartime mantra, 'Keep Calm and Carry On', steadied a nation while the Luftwaffe rained hell from the skies.

In most U.S. states, commercial airline pilots are legally required to retire at 65, bus drivers face a mandatory reassessment at 79, and air traffic controllers must retire at 56. Donald Trump is 79.

I need you to understand something about us humans before we go any further, because it's important: Every generation has believed that they are living at the end of times. The Romans watched Vesuvius eat Pompeii whole and figured the end credits would soon roll.

The Washington delusion hasn't changed since Vietnam, and the same rhetoric continues to be spewed. Remove the regime, hold an election, declare victory and fly home to a ticker-tape parade. 'Merica.

No one does satire quite like the British. The Americans, bless them, do try, but their jokes often arrive like a brick through a window. Satire requires a raised eyebrow, not a flashing neon sign.

In the theatre of modern politics, we are always offered the same production: two main parties, two sets of costumes and two well-rehearsed scripts. The liberals and conservatives acting as though their ideologies were carved in marble somewhere near Sinai.