London's bridges are old. The average age of the crossings along the Thames is around 103 years. This is not necessarily a problem. London itself is old. The trouble is that London appears to have adopted the quintessentially British belief that if you ignore something for long enough, it will either fix itself or become someone else's problem.

A word of warning to those unfamiliar with this particular culinary hazard: never consume rice that has been left at room temperature for a prolonged period of time.

Air travel is a complicated affair. Before a flight has even taken off, the mind is plagued with a selection of the following: what time do I need to wake up? Uber or train to the airport? Suitcase or cabin bag? How many podcasts should I download? Eat at the airport, or eat on the plane?

Any restaurant that’s been operating for more than fifty years must be doing something right — or is being propped up by laundered drug money. La Famiglia, established in 1966, is not being propped up by laundered drug money — to my knowledge at least.

Why does the capitalist suit labour through early mornings and late nights, spew corporate nonsense on LinkedIn, and kiss the asses of potential client leads? On the surface, he or she is seeking professional growth. But let's strip the motivations down to the bone.

Monaco attracts the motley crew of characters one expects to find in a place where wealth shouts: Arab royalty, oligarchs, gangsters from the Caucasus, money managers, and escorts from the Eastern Bloc to service them all.

Who is the passive aggressor? They can be immediately identified by a few physical traits: pursed lips, tightly clenched jaws, narrowed eyes, a cold glare, and a twitchy manner.

When purchasing a car as a family of four, the following must be considered: Is there enough space in the boot for the luggage of a family who often pack as though fleeing a military coup? Do the back seats offer enough territory for two car seats? Are the running costs tolerable in an economic climate in which even the purchase of an almond croissant must be carefully mulled over?

The first time I tried a drug of any kind was in sixth form. Two other degenerates and I huddled in an unused garage behind our college, where one of them whipped out a small bag of skunk that he'd procured from some roadman on his way to college that morning.

I believed, with close to near certainty, that common sense would prevail when the British public made their way to the polling stations on May the 7th. This is, after all, a nation of people who pride themselves on having common sense. The same country whose wartime mantra, 'Keep Calm and Carry On', steadied a nation while the Luftwaffe rained hell from the skies.

In most U.S. states, commercial airline pilots are legally required to retire at 65, bus drivers face a mandatory reassessment at 79, and air traffic controllers must retire at 56. Donald Trump is 79.

I need you to understand something about us humans before we go any further, because it's important: Every generation has believed that they are living at the end of times. The Romans watched Vesuvius eat Pompeii whole and figured the end credits would soon roll.

The Washington delusion hasn't changed since Vietnam, and the same rhetoric continues to be spewed. Remove the regime, hold an election, declare victory and fly home to a ticker-tape parade. 'Merica.

No one does satire quite like the British. The Americans, bless them, do try, but their jokes often arrive like a brick through a window. Satire requires a raised eyebrow, not a flashing neon sign.

In the theatre of modern politics, we are always offered the same production: two main parties, two sets of costumes and two well-rehearsed scripts. The liberals and conservatives acting as though their ideologies were carved in marble somewhere near Sinai.